Game Review: Saints Row: The Third

Do you like games? I am not talking about the crop of cheap clones that came out in 2011. I mean real games. Games that make you feel warm and fuzzy and conflicted inside at the same time. Games that throw you into a world and let you just do what ever the hell you please. With the game developers getting free rein to do just what ever they want? Well do I have a game for you.

Title : Saints Row: The Third

Genre : Action, Sandbox

Developers :Volition, Inc.

Consoles : PS3, Xbox 360, Windows PC

Rating : M for Mature

Saints Row: The Third is just that kind of game. It will take you down the roller coaster of life. If that roller coaster was filled with purple dildos, crazy mascots, and pimps that are auto-tuned. The Saints Row series was created as a direct response to the PlayStation exclusive Grand Theft Auto. When it was first released it was well received, but was never touted as anything more than a rip-off. Saints Row 2, came out a couple years later, and introduced a crazy amount of customization. It was still not a great game and full of issues.

When the developers sat down in their leather chairs around their round table shaped like a banana. They must have said “Okay guys, do you remember the Saints game we made? Those were not very good. Let’s do that, but better….oh and make fun of those games at the same time. Better yet just take some acid, and see what you get.” As a result, we received a game where literally anything can happen. Hell, you can even be a toilet, wielding a large purple dildo, fighting zombie strippers with Burt Reynolds by your side driving an Atari tank….seriously, that happened. Sorry if that spoiled anything for you, but it had to be said. That is not even the craziest or most bizarre thing that happens in that game.

The game play is nothing new. It is the same sandbox style that has been around for years. The graphics are only sub par. To be honest they almost look last gen. The level of customization that you can do is somewhat limited and the world is just not that big. They even re-use a lot of textures. But guess what? None of the before mentioned matters. The story and the writing are just too good. Your character is fully voiced and interacts a lot, more so than your typical game. Do you know what is crazy about that? Is that your can change the voice! They have I think 4 or 6 different voice actors for your character. Of course the dialogue is a little different for each as well.

I can go on and on about this. But I will not, or I will ruin half of the fun. But beware as you are driving around rocking out to the theme of Aqua Team Hunger Force (They are #1 in the hood G!) There may be a rant on how you, a gamer playing this game, is a loser. The host goes on for a good three minutes letting you know that you have no life…So thanks Saints Row 3 for making cry…..